So, I'm 27 years old. I was 19 when I first started writing in this thing here, and I don't feel that my actions have changed a great deal. The time has come to grow up. I feel like I have to come to terms with committment - to a man, to a career path, to a city...

I love my boyfriend, but I panic at the idea of committment; and my non-career job gives me a sense that I can leave whenever I want and there is still a world of potential out there. I know that I can't go on like this forever, but committing to a course of action means letting go of all the potential... it means forgetting about all the things I might or could be, and focusing simply on what I am. I know this is what living in the real world is all about, but I am still enough of a dreamer to want to believe I could do anything, be anything, have anything.

My darling needs me, and I need him, and I could be happy spending the rest of my life with this man... the fact is, I was probably never gonna do anything with those couldas anyway. It's just hard... I don't want to close the door on all that could have been.

Life is about the choices you make. It's about time I make one that will stick.

Before After

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