So here I am in Sydney, and things are going fine… dare I say, they are even going fabulously, far better than I ever imagined.

From the moment we took off on the journey I felt a strange kind of calm that I wasn’t expecting. After work on Saturday we took of later than expected and got to the Engineer’s rather late… I was figuring we’d go to bed pretty much straight away, but we ended up sharing a beer and getting to bed around 1:30… I ordered the cab just before I went to bed for 5am, and even the operator questioned: 5am? You mean, three and a half hours from now?

Yes, unfortunately. More sleep was had on the plane and in the cab (and on the couch later on :)… then we were there. The greeting from Older Brother, his Wife and Baby was really nice, even though it was barely 8 in the morning… then we heard noises upstairs and headed up to say hello to the Boy’s Mum. The greeting was very warm and excited to see us… pretty much everyone has been very warm, to the Boy as well as me – immediate family, grandparents, friends. I feel like I did the right thing by calling his Mum and setting the record straight (although I still think the Boy should have done it really)… I think also having us right before their eyes and seeing that we are still very happy with one another did a world of good.

I was having a talk with Older Brother’s Wife about the situation, I guess more about the Boy’s lack of communication ability when it comes to his family… it seems everyone has a different theory on why the Boy is the way he is… personally, I don’t think anything is “wrong” with him, he doesn’t need to be figured out… perhaps he’s just at the time in his life where he’s figuring himself out. Maybe he needs to do things in this exact way to become the person he is and will be. I think his family only believes there is something wrong with him because he refuses to involve himself in the family to the extent that they would like. He’s a bit remote to them.

While I was talking, it seems so was the Boy… he’d been brought into the lounge room to sit down with his mother and have a talk about what was going on with us. I am really glad that she chose to do things that way, their communication needs to be so much better than it is. When I spoke to him afterwards there seemed to be an air of amazement… he’d had a conversation with his mother, a good one. She seemed to understand our situation given the details, why we are going our separate ways for a while, and at the end she told the Boy that she thinks we have done the right thing in taking our time. The Boy also got to tell her a bit about why he finds it so hard to talk to her sometimes… all in all, I’m really happy, things went very well and it seemed that a few things that needed to be said were. I know that things are by no means perfect with them and will require lots of work still, but it felt like it was a step in the right direction, which I am really happy about.

Ultimately his family have made it very clear that they still wish for me to be a part of their family and for us to work things out, but they seem to understand why we are taking some time apart and things here are not uncomfortable in the slightest. We all know a bit more about each other now. His mum even got to see my tattoo yesterday, and even though she seemed somewhat appalled, it seems to be the way in her family to make a lot more noise than they actually mean, I know it’s not put me on the black list or anything. I’m glad it’s out in the open.

The Boy and I went to see a movie last night with Brother, Wife and one of their friends, which was a great night, and I found myself walking along arm in arm with the Boy with a feeling in my chest that it might explode from contentment, if that were possible… I don’t know whether I’m getting swept away with being back in Sydney where it all began, but I am enjoying every second of my time with the Boy… I think even before we left though, things are getting better and better between us. It’s like we know one another now and we know the things that we’re not keen on about one another, so they don’t surprise or upset us anymore, they are just a fact… while in the meantime we are able to enjoy more fully the things that we love about one another… and there are many things that we still love about one another.

Right now I am incredibly happy with him and I am very glad that I am here with him… things are good… the situation has greatly tempted me to stay next year. Add to the fray that I quite unexpectedly got that scholarship that I didn’t want… I could not believe it, but a letter came on Thursday. I thought it was my honours offer letter, the Boy insisted it was a scholarship, and he was right – they were offering me $6,000 to do honours. Holy shit. I have reasons to stay for sure.

But I’m still going. Really there was no decision anyway – I’ve already signed an employment contract for Japan. I gave it some thought in any case, and even though it feels like I am giving away $6,000, the job that in Japan is also wonderful opportunity, and it’s the one I’d choose. I still feel that I’m not in the right frame of mind to continue with study just now… there are other things to do. Besides, now I get to say that I am so good that I am giving away $6,000 :)

So what can I say, other than things are good and things are falling into place rather nicely lately? I guess I’m just lucky, or I’m just honest about who I am, or this is just the way things are meant to be. Perhaps all of the above.

Before After

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