They keep you from falling down, don't you think that you need them now?

2005-07-14 9:52 a.m.

Yesterday was Sunny's birthday, and here I am in Japan not more than about half an hour from her birthplace. She is 25 this year, if indeed she is still alive. I've not seen her for about four years now, since before her son was born. We were inseperable for about ten years of our lives, so I can't pretend it means nothing to me.

I should have remembered earlier, it should have clicked with me yesterday as I found myself irrationally moody. It didn't come to mind aside from a fleeting thought yesterday morning and a thought sent out to her, wherever she is... and that bugs me, that I am forgetting her, I don't know what she looks like nowadays, I can only just remember her voice.

It is the real reason for not liking birthdays; hers is always six days before mine and I always miss her like mad.

I didn't think of this last night, otherwise I would have told the Writer... I was busy entertaining a new friend and he was busy flitting in and out of conversations. I was feeling aggressive. I shouldn't have engaged him in a battle of wills... I'm not always going to come off the better for that, and I didn't last night, even though I 'won'.

Shit, gonna be late for work...

Before After

© Blueshoe 1999-2005

 

Just now, I'm...

Living: Takasaki City, Gunma, Japan
Working: As an English teacher
Studying: Colloquial Japanese
Wearing: jeans, hoodie
Listening: Hedwig and the Angry Inch sountrack
Gigging: ??
Reading: 'Thus Spoke Zarathustra' by Freidrich Nietszche, Japan Lonely Planet, 'Maria Montessori: Her Life and Work' by E.M. Standing, 'The Godplayers' by Damien Broderick, 'Bloodcurdling Tales of Horror and the Macabre', HP Lovecraft
Consuming: mmmm, awesone boyfriend cooked dinner...
Feeling: happy