H. - Thanks for coming back... I had a horrible feeling that my last entry might have come across just bitchy enough to scare you off... but it wasn't meant that way and you didn't take it that way, so thanks :)

Okay... well, today I'm flat. Thursdays and Fridays are hard. There's other things going on too I guess. One is that due to the weight I have put on since I love Japanese food too much, I am dieting, and I think the deprivation is getting me down. Another is that I have my period and as if that is not bad enough in itself, I have discovered that I don't like Japanese pads. I was warned about the tampons but I assumed that pads are pads anywhere... ummm, no. Another thing is that I feel in a bit of a rut with my routine, which I expect is mostly to do with present hormonal issues... but the learning curve has slackened somewhat, things are starting to lose the novelty and what's left is the hard work. My motivation to do anything but watch 'Sex and the City' is not there today.

I guess the main thing though is the usual thing, thinking about this Boy of mine and what will become of us... we finally had a chat via webcam on Tuesday... but over the phone you can kind of disguise the fact that you are crying, but it's a bit harder with a webcam. I am absolutely in limbo over my relationship... I want to rip myself in half, have part of me marry him and all that, and the other half can go gallavanting all over the world and discover myself and what have you. I know that whichever way I go I will not be entirely happy... and I can't figure out which option is going to make me the most happy. Something has to give.

I'm tired.

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